You know the drill. Whenever trouble was afoot in Gotham City, billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne hurries over to his bust of William Shakespeare…and wait, why Shakespeare?

Why not Shakespeare? I think we can agree Batman’s always been the most theatrical superhero. Literally, the bust of Shakespeare opens up the door to the Batcave. Says something, doesn’t it? The man needed therapy but got ninja training instead. He spent a good chunk of his family fortune fashioning himself after a spooky animal and goes out every night and PLAYS Batman (or the other interpretation, he goes in every morning and plays Bruce Wayne). He doesn’t have to, it’s just his weird code of ethics. When he does snap and thinks he kills somebody (in an Elseworlds story or a nefarious illusion or whatever) he gets poutier than Hamlet, screaming to the sky “I TOOK A LIFE!”

Superheroes have been likened to our modern gods, but they talk like theatre majors.

I just asked “What if Shakespeare was narcissistic enough to have a bust of himself?” and drew that out to a naturally weird conclusion. Ol’ Billy Shakes is now cast as the world’s greatest crimefighter and detective, who also happens to write some of the greatest works in the English language in his off time.

So that’s the impetus behind No Holds Bard. I thought it was funny so I rolled with it. Hopefully you do too. It’s William Shakespeare fighting crime, most of the dialogue painstakingly written in iambic pentameter (seriously, my knuckles are sore from counting all them syllables), and some of the best artists in the biz put a lot of hard work into it.

Plus there’s a companion EP with really cool music from Spencer Owen and Allie Goertz